Bliss and the Lack Thereof

I read this article last week about how the number and gender of children impacts bliss in families. The bottom line seemed to be that the more children you have the more miserable you will become, especially if those children are all girls. The study authors said, "The more girls you have the more of a handful they become - more so in fact than boys." The reasons that more kids, and more girls in particular, equal less happiness are: hormones lead to more fighting and noisiness, if you have more kids you will need to purchase a larger house and/or car, and navigating through daily routines such as getting ready for school or dinnertime become more hectic the more kids you have.

I immediately thought the study's authors are a bunch of child (and girl!) hating losers that don't know what they are talking about. I was full of self-righteous indignation - my girls are lovely, wonderful kids and our family is HAPPY. We are not miserably limping along from one squabble to the next just trying to survive. Plus, the more the merrier - right? I was so sure the study was wrong and totally without merit that I called my friend and told her about the silly article.

The girls and I then proceeded to have one of the worst days in a long, long time. I was constantly referring fights, trying to convince Abigail to stop being annoying, Samantha to stop whining, and Emily to stop being a boss, Natalie took a pair of scissors and cut the hair off all the Barbies, and Madison was being the most moody and emotional I've ever seen her. There was attitude, back talking, violence, and tears. It took two, three, four times before anyone would listen and behave and I have to admit that I yelled at the kids a lot that day. I was so fed up with it by the end of the day that all the girls were sent to bed very early even though it was spring break.

That's what I get for being so sure that our life, our five girls, our little family is so stinking perfect - a day that reminds me how hard life with a bunch of girls can be. If I was to focus on the negative I might reach the same conclusion as this study. In reality, the fights, tears, and attitudes are just a small part of what makes up our days. There are also hugs and kisses, sharing, sweet quiet moments, deep conversations, laughter, and music. I'll go with the evidence from my own life, my own "study" that I live in each day. A houseful of girls is not easy but it certainly brings me more happiness than I could have imagined when Jared and I first started out almost fifteen years ago.