Moran Family Fun

We made it through October and lived to tell the tale! Right from the start, October was crazy and my goal was to just make it through each day. I couldn't even look further ahead than that or I would have been too overwhelmed.  I'm pretty sure I spent much of October sleep deprived and running from one thing to the next. There was a lot of goodness mixed in with all the madness though. October is the beginning of the season of carving pumpkins, scented candles, soup (my favorite food group!), candy, beautiful colors, hot chocolate, and cozy clothes and we did our best to take advantage of all that October brings to the table.  Mixed in with all the demands on our time we were able to grab pockets of perfection that made it possible for me to breathe a little and recharge. One Saturday afternoon we headed to a local pumpkin patch and spent an hour or so searching for just the right pumpkins to bring home. This was our one Saturday in October without anything on the c...

Jared's away for work for six months. That's a long time to be separated so we're so grateful that he's in a location where we are able to go and visit him. Almost as soon as he left in August I was looking online for flights and making plans for visits to Jared. The first of our planned visits finally arrived at the end of September! Arrangements were made for the girls, my bag was packed, and I set off for the airport. I knew before Jared left in August that being separated was going to be difficult. I didn't know that I would handle it by effectively shutting down part of my heart.  What I mean by that is that if I find myself missing Jared or feeling sad or lonely because he's gone I'll just stop myself from feeling at all. I won't let myself miss him or feel sad. I do this by sheer force of will sometimes. I do this mostly by filling my head with anything and everything else. Being too busy to think about the fact that the person I love and de...

This post has been kicking around in my head for a while now. My emotions have been closer to the surface lately - which can be both good and bad.  For a couple of weeks last month it was a bad thing and I found myself crying at pretty much everything and feeling alone and friendless even when I was surrounded by people. You'd think I'd be better at making friends after almost forty years of moving and having to form new connections at each new place. Instead, the older I get, the more difficult the process becomes. Even after I make friends deep down I question if we're really friends. I think these feelings of insecurity are part of what makes me willing to do almost anything for my friends. If I do nice things for you maybe you'll continue to tolerate my presence? I think I do a pretty good job hiding my insanity. I can fake confidence really well - smiling and laughing and making small talk. And then I go home and overanalyze and question every little thing I said...