Into the Woods
My memory of my childhood is sometimes spotty, especially on the specifics, but I do have fond memories of exploring in the woods after school from the time I was seven or eight until I was around eleven and I decided I was too old to play in the woods anymore. If I wasn't off gathering pinecones in the woods I was roaming the neighborhood playing with friends or hanging out at the playground. Okay, there is a point to all this happy reminiscing.
Across the street from our house is a community park where the girls occasionally have their own after school adventures and on the other side of the park is a sort of forest - not enough trees to be a real forest, but too many to really call it anything else. The kids just call it the woods. Earlier this month Natalie noticed a little path and a bridge heading into the woods and she immediately started lobbying me to let her go "on an adventure" in the woods. After a couple of days I finally gave in and we ventured into the woods to see where the path led. At first we just stuck to one simple u-shaped path that led into the woods and back out, but we could see that there were lots of other paths criss crossing their way through the woods. There was a little stream to leap over and two wooden bridges to cross. The best part of the whole adventure was realizing that there were so many other paths to explore and making a plan to come back the next day. After wandering and playing in the woods for a second day I felt comfortable enough to let the girls go and play on their own. They wanted to stay for much longer than I did and really, I can't just play in the woods all day because there's too much to do at home. So they happily played together in the woods and I felt good that our girls were getting to experience a little of what childhood was like for Jared and I. It was so much fun!
Later that same week as I was driving I heard the story of a couple here in Maryland who were under investigation for allowing their children, ages 10 and 6, to walk home from a local park alone. For a minute it made me question whether or not I should let our kids play alone outside (in our yard, at the park, or in the woods) or if I need to accompany them. I questioned this not because I think our kids aren't old enough/responsible enough/whatever enough to handle being without my supervision, but because I don't want some overly concerned neighbor to see my kids heading off together into the woods and calling the cops. When did it become so terrible to let your kids learn to be on their own for a little, to be responsible for themselves, and to gain some confidence in their ability to navigate life without me right there? I don't feel as if the world is a more dangerous place than when I was a young child, and according the FBI statistics, crime rates are now the lowest they've been in decades. So why is everyone so afraid and why is it so terrible to give our kids some independence and see how amazing and capable they really are? Jared and I talked about it and we really don't have an answer. He definitely falls on the more cautious side of the spectrum while I, obviously, lean towards giving the kids a little more freedom.
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| It's kind of amazing what happens in the woods when the temperature drops. |
Anyway, soapboxing over! With supervision or without, the woods are a fun place to play especially when it's cold and the stream that winds through the woods is starting to freeze over. So on a day when Jared was off work and the kids were out of school we all bundled up and headed out to the woods as a family. The girls wanted to bring home big chunks of ice from the stream and get the green light to explore further into the woods then I'd let them go on their own - I guess I am for boundaries within reason?
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| He's not really falling, just being silly for the girls |
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| Natalie wanted to bring home every piece of ice she managed to hack out of the stream |
Let them go. You know your kids and what you are comfortable with
ReplyDeleteI read that same article and had those same thoughts. I'm a worrier but never want to project fear on the kids...how's that for a conundrum? Don't know what the right answer is but I let my kids play in the neighborhood without me but they have to have a partner, a sibling or friend and I have to know where they are.
ReplyDeleteI definitely would not send them out alone; they have to go with at least one sister. Cell phones help too :)
DeleteI say, as long as you have been out there, & seen where they explore & feel safe there are not any creepy folks around, let them play! I LOVE the woods. We grew up in the woods. My dad had a couple acres along a real Creek when I was young, that is where we learned to swim. My kids play in the woods all the time. Hence the reason why we went from half an acre in the city limits (in NC) to 2+ acres in the country.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen any creepy people in the woods, so they're probably safe! There are lots of four wheeler tracks criss crossing the woods, so we'll see how things go as the weather gets warmer.
DeleteI read an article that talked about how young adults have a hard time being independent and growing up without their parents telling them what to do all of the time as a result of helicopter parenting and it specifically cited a lack of "free play" or play that isn't directed by an adult but by the child as part of the problem. I totally agree with you that they need to be on their own and play how they want and explore and feel in charge of themselves and their decision making and able to use their imaginations.
ReplyDeleteI really, really want my kids to have fun when they're young but even more I want them to be independent adults who know what to do with their lives without every moment being spelled out for them. Playing in the woods is a pretty easy solution, in my opinion.
DeleteMy fondest memories are my adventures out and about on my own with no one telling me what to do. I gained confidence, a very distinct personality and a great sense of direction. I found trouble too, but your girls have had a lot more guidance than I had in my early years. I hope they are adventuring right now on their own with no meddlesome parents getting involved when they don't really need to be.
ReplyDeleteI feel so many young kids don't get enough of this and grow up in a protected shroud and then when they get out on their own they are overwhelmed so easily and can't face the tiniest bit of adversity. Someone referred to it as parents putting their kids in little storm trooper outfits to face life, but those kids don't have it as adults and bam...the smallest failure and they can't handle it.
You two are admirable parents, I miss the Moran family!